What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
