Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
