yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
