Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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