I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
