Soap is not a condiment
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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