No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Randomize
