omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
