I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
