Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
please don't ironically join a cult
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