you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
