I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
