i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
