I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
