Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
