Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
