I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just cut my nipple shaving
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
