just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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