why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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