Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
