Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize