just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize