Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
