I'm pants shitting drunk right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
