so let's talk penis.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
