There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize