We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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