Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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