Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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