omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
where am i from again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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