He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize