Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
