yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
