from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
These tits shall not be calmed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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