im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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