That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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