He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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