Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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