yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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