so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
