everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
