Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
