I wish my penis had an off switch
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
