North Korea, Best Korea!
barbara walters just said penis...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
