I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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