I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
