i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
