Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
