Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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