my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
