Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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