I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
