let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
