seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
