I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
