I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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