Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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