U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
