When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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