Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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