he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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